It's called a crush, you dumb fuck
by ilovecowchop
Summary: Cow Chop (youtube group) fic. James point of view. Remember when Aleks kissed James right on the mouth... when he was wearing a mask? What happened afterward? In this universe everyone is single bc I don't feel like writing sad breakups between existing real life relationships ya feel? Based on the video "Electrolarynx Experiment – Amazon Prime Time"


It was time to film another Amazon Prime Time, one of the most amusing shows for James. He loved giving gifts and seeing others' reactions; as a person with a giving personality in general, and a mischievous streak, he enjoyed taunting and teasing others with strange gifts.

As usual, James kept up with his casual flirtations. When Aleks brought up the idea of a stripper Santa for a holiday special, his half-joking surprised face appeared on camera once again. But when Aleks presented yet another disappointing gift, a Kylo Ren mask, he wasn't surprised at all. He was prepared to re-gift it to Joe, even. It didn't even come with batteries.

But when Aleks threw lipstick that hit him in the face, he was determined to get back at the Russian. He quickly applied it to the mask and put it on. "Wanna give Kylo a kiss, big boy?" James asked in mocking tone, just a hint of actual flirtation in his words. He never expected what would happen next.

After the tiniest moment of consideration, Aleks leaned in and sweetly pecked a kiss on the mask. Then he leaned back and looked at James through the mask with a self-satisfied smirk. He smugly watched James in his flustered state, complete with lipstick smeared across his lips.

"Ew, you fuckin'… dude!" Another moment of silence went by as James's mind raced, unable to comprehend what just happened. He couldn't feel or see it through the mask, but he undeniably heard the sound of a kiss right where his lips should have been. "Man! Shit!" He couldn't stop with the mild expletives; he was barely processing what happened. _Did Aleks just… kiss me? On camera? There's a mask, but still…_ Aleks just kept looking smug at the camera.

"I-I don't wanna play with this fucking toy anymore," James growled, taking off the mask. A light dusting of blush covered his cheeks as Aleks snatched it from him. Readjusting his beanie as he usually did when nervous, he looked over at the camera. He grinned and hoped he wouldn't seem too flustered to the audience. _Great, now the number of fanfictions is going to double…_

The rest of the video went by smoothly… until the escape ladder incident. For once, Aleks gave a gift that made the video interesting and dynamic. But it was clear as James awkwardly sat on the windowsill that his fear of heights, which even as he sat only a few feet above the ground made his heart pound, that he wouldn't be able to get down alone. Yelling and kicking, he did make his way down the ladder. Aleks's hands were on his hips the whole time. In a momentary slip, he felt a hand on his thigh, then his ass. "This ain't helping, man!" he screeched, feeling a blush light up his face again. Once they were safely on the ground, Aleks kept his hands on him for a couple of seconds longer than necessary. _What is with him today? I'm normally the one joking around and flirting with him, not the other way around,_ James wondered before redirecting his focus to the camera. After adding a couple of silly comments to the camera, like "we made it out of the house alive and well," the clip was over. The camera was put away until they made it back inside. James couldn't help but sneak a few secret glances over at Aleks, unable to keep thoughts of the kiss away.

After filming that day (the beanie was readjusted so many times in his flustered state that James's hair became frizzier than normal), he walked outside to his car. He watched as Joe took Mishka out for a walk with a smile. He didn't notice the person standing beside him. He turned and jumped in surprise. "Aleksandr!" He greeted him, touching his beanie once again.

"Hey James," the Russian replied, leaning against James's car. "Mind if I join you for lunch? Save gas or whatever." He didn't meet James's eyes, comfortable enough in the friendship to ignore normal social cues. Unfortunate for James, because he was curious about Aleks's behavior today, and wanted to read his expressions to help figure it out. _I just want to know what he's thinking, he mused, after the kiss… and being so touchy too._ He couldn't help but feel warm at the thought of spending extra time together though – no cameras means no monetary incentive to spend time together, meaning... it's something Aleks genuinely wants to do. "Uh, James?" He looked over to the half-latino and looked him in the eyes finally, dark brown meeting chocolate.

James raised his eyebrows, snapping himself out of his thoughts. "Sorry I zoned out. Yeah, let's go," he said and stepped into the car. "I was thinking of trying that new café downtown."

Aleks hummed in agreement and turned on the radio. Tuning into a station he liked, after a few minutes of just listening, he quietly began to sing along. James listened closely; he didn't know the song, but he did know he loved Aleks's voice. _Wait, what?_

They arrived at the café soon enough. Stepping out of the car, they walked in with comfortable silence. It was just busy enough in the small restaurant to make quiet background noise. It was pleasant and warm with plush booths all around the place. James ordered an iced coffee and croissant. After what happened during filming today, he wanted something light as he thought over the day's events. Aleks ordered similarly. Sitting down, their eyes met, and James knew he had to say something. _God, what do you say to somebody who just almost-kisses you like that?_ After another moment of silence, and looking into the Russian's eyes, he broke eye contact, hoping desperately a blush wouldn't appear. _What's happening here?_

"James," Aleks called for his attention, tilting his head to the side with a small smile. James looked up questioningly, opening his mouth to say something, but their orders arrived just then.

"You gotta stop messing with that beanie, man," Aleks told him, leaning over the table a bit. "Your hair…" He reached over and neatly pushed a curl behind James's ear. Eyes wide, James just stared. It was like his brain was broken.

"What are you doing?" His quiet voice was one he rarely used, but here it was. He was… shy. His best friend had just made him feel shy.

"Spending time with you," Aleks answered, leaning back into the booth with the smug look returning. "It's nice, actually." He sipped his coffee.

"That's not what I mean, you fuck. I meant, today," James told him, gesturing with his hands. "With filming, and all that," he explained, feeling his face heat up with a blush for the tenth time that day.

Aleks looked up at the ceiling, as if thinking of what James could possibly be referring to. "Oh, that," he said cheekily, looking into James's eyes again. "You mean with the mask?"

"Yes," James hissed, leaning over the table like Aleks had done a moment ago. "You practically kissed me!" He narrowed his eyes. He wasn't sure why he was so riled up over this, but he was, acting as if he was angry at his best friend for doing something that really just… confused him.

"Yeah?" Aleks questioned. _What's so funny about this?_ James wondered as Aleks just smirked. _Is he trying to make fun of me with all this?_

"Why did you do that?!" James huffed, now breaking eye contact. He leaned back again and tried to calm down. _Yes, it's Aleks's fault that I'm feeling all shy and mad, but I don't have to yell at him._ He grumpily sipped at his coffee.

"I don't know," Aleks replied, ripping off a piece of James's croissant and popping it into his mouth even though he had his own. "I just wanted to." He raised an eyebrow at James as if asking what's wrong with that.

 _Well… what IS wrong with that? It's not outside of the realm of what we normally do in videos,_ James questioned himself, munching on the croissant to allow some silence to think. _We normally do everything ridiculous we can think of._ James looked out the window in thought. _Maybe… it's because kissing him isn't something I would consider… ridiculous, or something to be made fun of._ He even surprised himself with the thought.

"Why are you thinking so hard about this?" Aleks asked, lightly kicking his friend's shoe. "I didn't even actually kiss you. It was a mask. It was for a video." He listed the facts of the situation to James.

James's heart felt like it was sinking. _It was for a video._ He huffed again. _Then why did it feel like it meant something?_

"Jaaames," he said in a sing-song voice. "You can stop being mad now."

James looked up and finally said something about his feelings that day. "You're just confusing the hell out of me, man. Give me a break for a minute." His eyes met Aleks's and they looked at each other for real this time. The way Aleks's mouth was set… he was feeling just as uncertain as James. Something in his mind clicked. _We're feeling the same way right now._ And James broke out into a grin. _Finally, a way to gain the upper hand._

"I'll stop being mad when you stop almost kissing me on camera and using a ladder as an excuse to grab my ass," he teased in a sudden moment of boldness. Finally, it was Aleks's turn to blush. He spluttered and started stuttering out excuses, but James just laughed. He had the type of laugh to fill up the room and he knew it.

Aleks went silent again and narrowed his eyes, looking at James in a defensive way. "God, fine," he said. "Today was fucking weird. I admit it. Happy, James?"

James's giggles subsided as he looked at Aleks. Aleks, who was blushing, and had just said his name in the cutest way. _What are my thoughts today? Brain, stop it, this is Aleks we're thinking about- meme kid, not cute._ Aleks sunk down into the booth and held his coffee with both hands, looking like he just gave up on saving face in this situation. _Okay, yeah, he is cute. But just right now. He's just BEING cute, he's not actually cute ALL the time-_

"James, if you don't stop fucking staring at me, I'm going to walk home myself," Aleks announced.

"Sorry," James said quietly, using his straw to stir his coffee. "I guess today was weird. I keep having these thoughts-" he cuts himself off, using the moment to drink his coffee. _What am I thinking right now? What am I saying?_ He panics mildly, hoping Aleks wouldn't notice his verbal slip. But, of course he did.

He seemed genuinely curious. "What do you mean?" Aleks asked, sitting up again.

James stared at the table, avoiding Aleks's eyes. _Maybe I wouldn't have to look away if he didn't have those damn pretty brown eyes… Uhh, pretty?_ He shook his head to clear his mind of meandering thoughts. "I know we already covered this, but the kiss," James started to say something, a full sentence maybe, but ended it prematurely there.

"It meant something to you," Aleks stated. His voice held no inflection or judgment; just stating the facts.

"Uhh, yeah," James replied softly. Blushing, not meeting his coworker's eyes, he adjusted his beanie once more – a nervous habit.

Aleks sighed. "James, I wouldn't have done it if not for the camera." James's eyes snapped up to Aleks's at that moment – he was listening to every word Aleks was saying, hoping it wouldn't hurt more than it already did. "It makes me more bold. I do things for the viewers. Gotta bring in that cash money," he explained. James pressed his lips together in disappointment. "But," Aleks continued, reaching his hand forward to cover James's, "I'm glad I did it."

Confused, no longer hurt but still filled with conflicting emotions, James kept looking into Aleks's eyes. _Damn it,_ James thought. _Do I feel something for Aleks?_

Aleks chuckled. "It's called a crush, you dumb fuck."


End file.
